I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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