Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
