would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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