Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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