I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
