I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
