YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
