Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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