i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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