4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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