she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
