I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
