I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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