So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this just has baby written all over it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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