He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
