No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
