How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
