The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
