He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
