speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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