He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
