the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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