Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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