If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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