She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
