it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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