He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
