I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
