It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
