He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
