I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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