I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
