I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
