I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
