I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
