It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize