I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
