mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
