So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
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Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26