What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.