Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies