sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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