1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.