I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
