So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
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Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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