Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
