Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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