Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize