if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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