yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
pray to the hookup gods
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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