Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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