my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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