i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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