So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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