I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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