So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
