I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
