i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
