In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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